HANDLING ANGER

MEMORY VERSE: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Ephesians 4:26

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR: Luke 13-14

Two forceful personalities in a relationship are like two rivers flowing into one; there is definitely going to be a strong current. Anger comes in different forms. It can be like a flash of lightening or prolonged like the rumble of thunder. Sometimes we clash painfully, other times we distance and silently abandon the relationship. But, anger handled the right away doesn’t have to destroy (the relationship that has been built over the years).

There are few things we can do to handle our anger. Firstly, let’s be honest when we are angry. When angry, do not deny it. Let’s not pretend that all is well when all is not well. It is perfectly normal to get angry when people are mistreated and wrongs are not being made right. We are right to get angry when people falsely accuse us of something we know nothing about. Ignoring the other person, stifling, suppressing the anger or pretending that we are not angry is basically dishonest. Another form of lying when we are angry is exaggeration. “You never listen to what i say.” “You always ignore my wishes.” “You are always doing these things to get me angry.” Such generalizations are untrue and serve only to aggravate and polarize, guaranteeing the real problem gets obscured and goes unresolved. Another way to lie when we are angry is blaming. “It is your fault that this happened to us.” “Maybe if you had arrived on time i wouldn’t have to nag you.” Blaming is a way of evading our own responsibility while pointing the finger at others. It angers others, perpetuates our own anger and never produces the result we want. Blaming is counter-productive.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” What this means is that we must not let our anger escalate to the point of doing damage. When angry we must not use our words as a weapon or a control mechanism. It is okay to express our emotions in a healthy way; we must keep them in check. Our goal must be to resolve the problem and strengthen the relationship, not ‘sound off’ and wound the other person. Words spoken in jest, sarcasm, self- righteousness or ‘righteous indignation’ wound people, sometimes permanently. Perverseness of the tongue breaks people’s spirit. Proverbs 15:4 says, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.” Angry words, once unleashed, can: “go down into a man’s inmost parts” (Proverbs 16:22). Our words can live in the heart and memory of a person and go all the way to the grave with them. A person can die of crushed spirit, and the one who spoke the words can live to regret the damage that they inflicted and never get a chance to undo it. On the other hand, anger properly handled never needs to be repented of.

NOTE: We must learn to differentiate between the anger we feel and the words we speak. Anger, carefully thought through, can reveal important information about needed changes.

PRAYER POINT: Father, please rid me of anger.

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Bro Samuel | Reaching the world for Jesus.